hopes and dreams
Today was okay-okay. POA was sort of fun. At least I learn something and had a no-brainer test. Pheww! And Mr alvin didnt come today,so no Bio test. Grrr.. when I entered the class,I saw miss eeee-zati(inside joke),I shouted,"what the hell! I study like fuck can!" and then akbar gave me this shocking look. Cos he was really shocked. Haha. damn hilarious!
After school,went home with guiling. Then came home and slept. Woke up at 4.30pm. I ditched drama today. Just too lazy and tired to go and I hate friday sessions so yup. Meet Farhan after that to go Eastpoint and look for his stuff. Along the way,there's this conversation we had about Pesta Perdana 10-a malay award-giving ceremony.
Aisyah: eh,today got Pesta Perdana 10 you know. Actually I wanted to go,but no hope seh.
Farhan: you watching uh?
Aisyah: yeah. why?
Farhan: Nothing. You're an aspiring actress right? And you only want to be acting in theatres only right? then how are you going to be recognised and get an award like that?
Aisyah: tsk..farhan farhan.. Acting is not all about knowing who's best at what. To me,its about the passion. I dont care about all those awards la. I just wanna act. It lets me into a different world.
Farhan: and where has that 'PASSION' gone to?
Aisyah: (pauses and thinks) Its inside me. I just have to find it.
Farhan: in other words,you have no more passion for drama?
Aisyah: something like that. But I'm trying my best okay! I still want to act,just no drive. how liddat..
Farhan: you gave me a deeper and supported answer the last time I asked you. And now look at what has happened. You suddenly wanna become a teacher. And the next thing I know,you want to do pyschology. You're excessively ambitious dear.
Aisyah: Then wad am I to do? I have got so many things that I wanna do.
Farhan: then do at what you do best. Acting and teaching. Thats all that you need. You can always try other things when you're stable.
Aisyah: now I dont feel ambitious at all. I just wanna sleep!
Farhan: you see what this has done to you. You can actually go astray from your studies if you dont concentrate and set your goals now!
Aisyah: dont pressure me can?!!!!
Farhan: I'm not. Yes I know that you are tired. But if now you're already tired,then when you go jc how? Cannot wake up at all. Time-management okay aisyah.
Aisyah: Are you done? Seriosuly,tell me all this when I'm fresh again. I just need lots of rest.
Farhan: sure. anything. Lets go home. (in a disappointed tone)
Now you all see what school has done to me. I just seem to lose interest on some things quickly when I have pressure or excessively ambitious. Anyways,went to a few jc's website. I have finally choosen some of the campuses that I want.
This just makes me even more pressured given the points that I have to attain just to get in. Well,pray hard I will work hard throughout the year and not disappoint myself. JC,here I come! LOL. long way to go man..
After school,went home with guiling. Then came home and slept. Woke up at 4.30pm. I ditched drama today. Just too lazy and tired to go and I hate friday sessions so yup. Meet Farhan after that to go Eastpoint and look for his stuff. Along the way,there's this conversation we had about Pesta Perdana 10-a malay award-giving ceremony.
Aisyah: eh,today got Pesta Perdana 10 you know. Actually I wanted to go,but no hope seh.
Farhan: you watching uh?
Aisyah: yeah. why?
Farhan: Nothing. You're an aspiring actress right? And you only want to be acting in theatres only right? then how are you going to be recognised and get an award like that?
Aisyah: tsk..farhan farhan.. Acting is not all about knowing who's best at what. To me,its about the passion. I dont care about all those awards la. I just wanna act. It lets me into a different world.
Farhan: and where has that 'PASSION' gone to?
Aisyah: (pauses and thinks) Its inside me. I just have to find it.
Farhan: in other words,you have no more passion for drama?
Aisyah: something like that. But I'm trying my best okay! I still want to act,just no drive. how liddat..
Farhan: you gave me a deeper and supported answer the last time I asked you. And now look at what has happened. You suddenly wanna become a teacher. And the next thing I know,you want to do pyschology. You're excessively ambitious dear.
Aisyah: Then wad am I to do? I have got so many things that I wanna do.
Farhan: then do at what you do best. Acting and teaching. Thats all that you need. You can always try other things when you're stable.
Aisyah: now I dont feel ambitious at all. I just wanna sleep!
Farhan: you see what this has done to you. You can actually go astray from your studies if you dont concentrate and set your goals now!
Aisyah: dont pressure me can?!!!!
Farhan: I'm not. Yes I know that you are tired. But if now you're already tired,then when you go jc how? Cannot wake up at all. Time-management okay aisyah.
Aisyah: Are you done? Seriosuly,tell me all this when I'm fresh again. I just need lots of rest.
Farhan: sure. anything. Lets go home. (in a disappointed tone)
Now you all see what school has done to me. I just seem to lose interest on some things quickly when I have pressure or excessively ambitious. Anyways,went to a few jc's website. I have finally choosen some of the campuses that I want.
This just makes me even more pressured given the points that I have to attain just to get in. Well,pray hard I will work hard throughout the year and not disappoint myself. JC,here I come! LOL. long way to go man..
posted by aisyah at
10:52 PM
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