Today was horrible. I cried TWICE! Hey,you dont know what its like to takecare of two elderly who are very sick by yourself okay! So shut the hell up! My grandad was so picky and wanted to do this and that when he is suppose to sit and rest.

He totally tested my patience. In the end I gave up and just sat in front of him and cried. Before that he ate something and he started to cough badly. I thought he was choking and suffocating. I called mommy and cried on the phone asking her what I should do cos I was panicking.

When they finally slept,I felt peaceful! I wanted to call someone but there's nothing anyone could do so I just sat in front of my laptop and watched Ghost Hunters. Like finally there's some entertainment.

Then bla bla bla. Mom and bro came home. They took over from there and now here I am!

Then suddenly one of my friend text me. She's a lesbian btw. She asked me to call her and I felt this 'eww' feeling in me. Yes,I'm uncomfortable around homos. I'm not sure why but all I know is I cannot stand lesbians and gays. They disgust me.

Although this friend hasnt officially declared that she's a lesbian,there's been numerous times where she asked:"Syah,what would you do if I say that I like girls?" And I said:"I dont want to be friends with you anymore cos homos make me uncomfortable"

You see? People tend to say that some people are just born like that but I feel that you're born to be attracted to the opposite sex. It could be that you have too much male/female hormones in you and you cannot control it.

So right now..I'm avoiding her. Giving excuses to not be able to talk on the phone. Just text her is fine. And two days ago I asked her whether she wanted the lyss 20th anni tix cos I'm not going. She said:"huh....if you're not going then I dont want to go la."

It may seem like because I'm her friend,she dont want to turn up if she dont have any company,but I'm kind of getting some other feeling from that sentence. And yes,she's an ex-lysian. But I wont reveal her name cos she's done nothing wrong to me.

So,Cheryl,Wyelin and Angie..tell what to do?!! Somehow,only the 3 of you give me solid solutions. So help me! Should I ignore her? Should I distant myself? Should I call off the friendship? Should I tell her straight in the face that I dont like lesbians? TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!

And to Acha,the previous post was not about you. What made you think so? hmm..terase la kau nie. I've had many people backstab me in my life so I just had to let it out. I dont even know what wrong I've done to them. Haishh..