My late abang

My second post for today!

To Nasri/Abang,I really miss you so much. I used to talk to you over the phone almost every night and we talk about so much stuff and you give me advices and motivations when I need it. But ever since you've moved on, I couldnt sleep well at all. No one in the world knows how much I want to turn back time and give you a hug like I always do.

I know we promised each other that we would not shed a tear when one of us passes away but the news was too sudden and I could not take it. The night of your death was bizarre. You seem peaceful. I just could not believe that the guy in the ambulance was you and you even said that that guy was already dead.

And TJ promises you that we'll take good care of your family. And that you'll always be a part of us no matter what. People ask me to forget you and move on but how am I suppose to when the first person I talk to in the morning is you and the last person before I go to bed. You have changed me so much that I dont know how to repay your never-ending kindness.

I can also sense that you were with us when we were just chilling under the block. You may not be there physically but each and everyone of us knows that you're watching over us. No one knows how hard it is for me to go through the day knowing that I lost someone close to me and the person that I love more than anyone else.

My last favor from you is to appear in my dreams. I need to see you badly. I love you and miss you so muchh. Just this one last favor I beg of you.

Cousins right and wrong

Apologies for not updating. Been really busy with holidays and visitings and outings. Not much has been happening over the past few weeks.

Anyways, I cleared and cleaned and vacuumed my room yesterday. Had thrown out alot of things. I also realised that I had a very high stack of notes un-filed. So I just stuff it inside the proper files and shove it inside my cupboard. I might have to buy a couple of ring files since my notes are thick as hell.

School is starting in 2 days and I'm quite eager to start the school semester. 3 months at home is more than enough. But I'm just afraid that I might not be able to cope my Drama schedules with my studies.

I mean O levels and SYF! I'll be beat most of the time!!!! Not to forget the never-ending practices and tutorials and homework. Urghh! Thank god I'd quit my job.

On a happier note,I'm glad I got to see all my cousins at my granny's house in Johore for my late grandfather's 100th day funeral anniversary or whatever that you call it. I was worked to death since there was too many people that my granny invited.

After that,we took a bathe and sat in a room and talked about our relationships,friends and life-experiences. Most of the experience were ghost encounters. I kinda kept quiet about the relationship part cos I'm like single and everythings in the past so not much to talk about.

Sometimes being single might do you good but when you think again..being in a relationship is better cos you get to love and be loved by someone and spent your time together and create unforgettable memories. And you get to love someone dearly and know who turn to when the world turns their back on you.

I prefer to be single for the time being. Although I know my one and only bestfriend is waiting for me to accept him,I still cant. I dont want to ruin our 10 years of good friendship. IF we are not meant to be,our relationship is obviously out of the question but what about our friendship? Is it gonna go down the drain just like that?

Anyways,I had a great time with the cuzzies. We would sit at the hut in granny's porch and talk and talk and talk. Sleep at around 4am and wake up in the evening. Not everyone was there but the ones that weren't there are the cousins that the whole family seems to not get along very well with.

We're not sure whats their problem with us and we are just too busy to care about them. I have to say that the family's not 'proper'. My auntie has a scandal with her ex-flame. The husband is forever lying about his job and sometimes doesnt work at all but denies it. The first daughter is gone case. The daughter-in-law is pregnant with the second child and has a scandal with her ex-flam with the knowledge of her husband(!!!!). The first son is crazy in love with an Indonesian lady who is forever asking him to send her like a few thousand dollars to her and the second son is in and out of jail and raping people here and there. The only person that is in their right mind in the family is the second daughter. I pity that she has to actually live with a family who is heavily heavily heavily in debt and is just lost in life.

Thats my post for today.

I need to stop upsetting the situation

I'm freaking out right now as my N level results are releasing tmr! I dont feel nervous or scared. I'm just dead curious as to how many points I'm gonna get and where I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll feel the chilling part tmr. Wherever it lands me,I'm still gonna continue studying.

And today I feel very guilty. Hate me all you want but I had to do it. I 'dumped' a guy that my cousin had introduced to me. He was abit too over when it comes to dating or relationships. When he was sixteen,he dated a divorced lady aged 20 something that has a child. Age may just be a number,but seriously.. a divorced lady at sixteen? He had a few relationships where he is the perfect guy and the girl seems to be knocked up by someone else or just too astray.

I met up with him for a while but I went back to my cousins's place. I just could not communicate that well with him. He was like rushing into things. I just knew him a few days ago and he already started sending me lovey-dovey msgs. WTH!

He already planned to ask me to be his gf(!). He sorta gave me a huge and obvious hint. At first when I didnt want to see him after the first meet,he thought I was looking down on him because of his tattoos and his attitude and the people that he mixes with. He sort of accused me of those things. But THANK GOODNESS I was born as a girl! So I kinda explain everything to him nicely.

It was diffcult but I had to do it. What if I get into a relationship with him and I dont love him?I'll be cheating myself and also him. So I said my piece and wanted to cry after that! I can see he was so heart-broken. So I said we should just stay friends and I'll pray that he'll get the girl of his dreams and that will love him dearly and forever.

Till here. Can I get my results now?!

My nails are a beauty!

I just did my nails. *sound so wrong sia*. Anyways,I just sort of painted my nails with Henna. It looks so red! But I like it. I just hope I can still take my results next week with brightly-colored nails.

Ohh & talking about results,EVERYONE IS FREAKING ME OUT! But sometimes I think about it,it feels like I'm taking just normal every year results like your mid-year or EOY results. I'm still unsure when the results will be coming out or when I have to go to school to take the results.

If you are reading my blog and is 100% sure of the results date and when I'm suppose to go to school,do msg me yeah! I wont be in S'pore over the weekend so I wouldnt know. Dont worry,sending msgs overseas wont cost you a penny. *smiles*

Till here..

cycling fever

Yesterday went to Pulau Ubin with the loved Hirouka family. I cycled like hell. In the morning I didnt drink or eat so when I was tired and thirsty,I started to become very grumpy. Sorry guys for making you worried or irritated by my grumpiness. I guess I came unprepared.

We had a tour of the island given by our host-RAZI! He was kind enough to bring us there and tour us around. I have to admit the outing and ride around the island was awesome! Despite the never-ending mosquitoes,the view of the sea was unexplainable.

And I personally like the steep slopes. I only like it when we're going down. HAHA. The ones when we go up the slope was a pain in the belly! Luckily it didnt rain that heavily and I think I lost like at least 1kg. aha. Random.

Anyways,the day was meant for Zhen Hong. It wasnt his birthday-long story! The moment was very sad and touching for him. wow. Hirouka crew is very sweet. HAHA. And on HIS day,we taught him how to cycle. And he did it! Well not that pro but he managed to control and he listened to us.

But Xuan Da say make him fall. wth?! Is that how you learn to cycle? By falling? Really meh? And thank you Xuan Da for being our anchorman. But the next time you sing,I'm not gonna cycle beside you anymore! You sang until it rained! Some more S Club 7 song! LOL.

Around 2pm ended our tour and went back to Changi to eat. Then it was home sweet home for me. I bathed and went to sleep only to wake up at around 9pm. Then went to sleep again. It was the most fun and tiring day for me. So till here.

One more thing! I got this from Razi's blog: Aisyah [a darling to be around with, a listening ear and the best person to talk to whenever you need her, cheerful,adorable and some sarcasm just make her very ADORABLE... a depandable friend always]

And this from Zhen hong's blog : Aisyah-Though i swear that i hardly talk to you, yet you still really being such a good friend to me and you helped me up when today's bike riding also.Thanks for being a good friend to me.I will remember it.

They make me sound like I'm such a sweet,nice and kind person. HAHA. Btw..I am sweet,nice and kind. LOL. Just ask kemp. haha. Anyways,dudes..thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it so much.

I want to sleep!!

I had lots of fun when cuzzie came over. But to bad she went home today. Anyways,tmr is Pulau Ubin trip with the Hirouka clan. They gave me a call at 11.30 in the morning. WHEN I WAS STILL SLEEPING SOUNDLY.

I said okay but then later in the day,I had a huge tiff with my mom. Not sure how it all began. She wouldnt talk to me and she would like slam the stuff around. Me and my cousin just pretended that we're not hearing anything.

We're just sick of having to take the fault on ourselves. When she did started to talk to me,I didint talk to her. Well,she did say that she doesnt want me to talk to her. So I granted her wish. Whatever the problem may be,I still dont think that its any of my fault.

And now,my moods kinda changing. I'm not sure whether I should go for the trip. What if she takes the chance to throw me out of the house? LOL. She's my mother. She can do anything. Oh well. I should still go anyway. Its time to have fun man!

But I heard that I have to meet them around 9am. ARE YOU PEOPLE KIDDING ME?! I would usually still be sleeping at that time. What? You people want me to die due to lack of sleep. haha. okay whatever. So see the bunch of you tmr!

Till here. I wanna go lepak! bye.

I'm just tired.

I think I've abandoned this blog long enough for it to rot. First up,

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY ALLISON TAN!

Next,I have been busy and tired the past few weeks. Therefore I didnt get the chance to update my blog. My N level results are drawing near. I'm extremely terrified. *cool down aisyah*.. Anyways,apologies to Navin. I cant watch movie with you and the other Hirouka crew cos today is my 11th monthsary. I'll make it up to you guys okay.

Also to TJ clan,I had a great time going ghost-hunting,picnic,sleepovers and slackings with you guys over the past few weeks.

Anyways,today totally rotted at home. Watched telly all day and did nothing else. Tomorrow evening will be watching a play somewhere in Singapore. Its the 'Snow white and the seven dwarfs',but a modern type of play. Hopefully it will rock my socks.

I'm losing my passion towards acting and the drama scene,hopefully this play will relive it like what 'Beauty World' had given an impact on me.

Alrightey,I'm gonna go off now. If you happen to read this,tag my board yeah. Its so dead. Thanks!