hopes and dreams

Today was okay-okay. POA was sort of fun. At least I learn something and had a no-brainer test. Pheww! And Mr alvin didnt come today,so no Bio test. Grrr.. when I entered the class,I saw miss eeee-zati(inside joke),I shouted,"what the hell! I study like fuck can!" and then akbar gave me this shocking look. Cos he was really shocked. Haha. damn hilarious!

After school,went home with guiling. Then came home and slept. Woke up at 4.30pm. I ditched drama today. Just too lazy and tired to go and I hate friday sessions so yup. Meet Farhan after that to go Eastpoint and look for his stuff. Along the way,there's this conversation we had about Pesta Perdana 10-a malay award-giving ceremony.

Aisyah: eh,today got Pesta Perdana 10 you know. Actually I wanted to go,but no hope seh.

Farhan: you watching uh?

Aisyah: yeah. why?

Farhan: Nothing. You're an aspiring actress right? And you only want to be acting in theatres only right? then how are you going to be recognised and get an award like that?

Aisyah: tsk..farhan farhan.. Acting is not all about knowing who's best at what. To me,its about the passion. I dont care about all those awards la. I just wanna act. It lets me into a different world.

Farhan: and where has that 'PASSION' gone to?

Aisyah: (pauses and thinks) Its inside me. I just have to find it.

Farhan: in other words,you have no more passion for drama?

Aisyah: something like that. But I'm trying my best okay! I still want to act,just no drive. how liddat..

Farhan: you gave me a deeper and supported answer the last time I asked you. And now look at what has happened. You suddenly wanna become a teacher. And the next thing I know,you want to do pyschology. You're excessively ambitious dear.

Aisyah: Then wad am I to do? I have got so many things that I wanna do.

Farhan: then do at what you do best. Acting and teaching. Thats all that you need. You can always try other things when you're stable.

Aisyah: now I dont feel ambitious at all. I just wanna sleep!

Farhan: you see what this has done to you. You can actually go astray from your studies if you dont concentrate and set your goals now!

Aisyah: dont pressure me can?!!!!

Farhan: I'm not. Yes I know that you are tired. But if now you're already tired,then when you go jc how? Cannot wake up at all. Time-management okay aisyah.

Aisyah: Are you done? Seriosuly,tell me all this when I'm fresh again. I just need lots of rest.

Farhan: sure. anything. Lets go home. (in a disappointed tone)

Now you all see what school has done to me. I just seem to lose interest on some things quickly when I have pressure or excessively ambitious. Anyways,went to a few jc's website. I have finally choosen some of the campuses that I want.

This just makes me even more pressured given the points that I have to attain just to get in. Well,pray hard I will work hard throughout the year and not disappoint myself. JC,here I come! LOL. long way to go man..

sleep

this is what I need most. SLEEP!

I need really ample amount of energy to make me get through tomorrow. Right now,I'm really really really tired and my brain is semi-functioning. I need to sleep! But I obviously cant as I have a POA and Bio test tomorrow to study for.

Well,today was not that good. Except for PE. Had a blast playing basketball. The dudes are super funny with their remarks and everything. Then after that started to got irritated while in SS lesson. I just dont understand why people cant shut up their mouths. Seriously,is it that hard?

Then had Malay retest. It was not that hard but I had lost a few marks after finding out the answer to some qns. Looks like 40+ marks target has gone down the drain. It rained heavily in the afternoon. I wanted to come home badly and sleep but I chose to do my Malay compo at the very last minute,so I had to rush things.

And we got scolded in drama due to the mix up and forgetting of lines. I kept quiet most of the time. Maybe it was because I have been going through the vocal warm-up cycle every week and they still dont know what to do when they are appointed to lead the warm-up. Most disappointing was the seniors. I'm sick and tired of answering their qn:"whats next?".

And they are even choosy about the warm-up that they have to lead. How sick is that? Why cant you just do it? And it doesnt matter which warm-up comes first. The worst part is,most of them are not taking the warm-up seriously. They take it as a weekly routine and doesnt bring any difference to their voice projection.

Let me tell you, IT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE IF YOU DO TAKE IT SERIOSULY AND IF YOU DONT! Half of them are not doing it properly. I just dont get it why people cant do things like they are supposed to. Is it so hard? So sickening! I just need to get out this situations for a while and just relax my mind. I'm tired of all

this shit!
Can someone please answer this qn: WHY IS IT SO HARD?! I dont get it.

drama day!

I would obviously flunk my physics test. Why? Good question. Mdm Quek said the topics would be on Sound and Electrostatic. Guess what topic she gave? Wave,Sound and Electromagnetic Spectrum. How sick is that?

Sound I clearly didnt understand,at least I remembered some things from Spectrum. If not,fail the whole paper! And the next sickening thing was that there was no Bio test! Studied like want to die,in the end no test. Well,at least got more time to study.

Today something superb and what I've been waiting for to happen. One sec 1 girl was told off by my instructor. I'm so happy that he did it! She has been showing attitude since day one and she still can down there smile and gigle! Curse her la!

And Kemp turned up for drama although he was absent from school. Then went home in the rain and here I am! Tomorrow have Malay retest. Hopefully I'll do much better than the last one. I wanted to cry just looking at the marks. I'm abit particular about the marks I get this year for tests. No more fooling around!

Well,till here. Malay homework has yet been done. Shall start cracking my brains now. Byee!

Common test and tons of work

Super pissed cos Mdm Quek ditched my class. Suppose to do common test this afternoon but she didnt turn up! After waiting for 45 mins,we left! Malay retest was also postponed to Thursday. WTH!

But before that went to foyer and look for Danial and Zaki. Had nothing better to do mah. Then joke around and curse here and there. Then went to class. Before that saw you-know-who. I'm actually irritated when I see his face.

Here I am trying to forget about him and there he is showing his face all over the school. FRIENDS,HELP ME! Maybe I need to look at a super hot guy! The never-ending pictures in Cheryl's post didnt help at all. Haha. Oh & I want the kind of guy whose skin is fair!

And Zaki said I look like Chinese. THANK YOU! I've been waiting for people to say that. But its so hard. Come on people! Say I look like Chinese! Lol. That certainly wouldnt come out from Cheryl. Haha.

Well,till here. I have tons of work to do.
Malay filing
Revise for Maths Common test
Study for Bio Common test
Malay homework which needs alot of time!
Sleep!

typical

I'm so tired! Urgh. Today went kinda well. Bus was late and some idiot dont want move in. Somemore from Dunman Sec. But still no brains! Anyways,after school went to LJS with deelah first then Wyelin and Acha joined later.

Wanted to study but in the end we spent 45mins at Popular.Expected! Then went to Starbucks for my Java Chip. Cravings! I think aisyah had drank the worst coffee ever. Haha. Then went home ALONE! So here I am.

I have Malay re-common test tomorrow. And I still havent do my malay homework. Which is very troublesome to do. Furthermore,Wednesday have Biology and Maths Common test. Stress!!

And I couldnt believe that I had gotten 26/50 for my first malay common test. I knew I was going to get somewhere around 30+ but I was wrong. I'm not saying that I think so highly of my Malay but thats my range of marks. Not sure what went wrong. Had done properly and still gotten a just pass. How pathetic.

Well,people...can somebody ask me out? I've not been going out with friends for quite a while now. And I need to take pictures. Fetish! Dont really need to go out and about. Just sit there and study also I dont mind. Dont even care where it would be.

Well,Farhan had abandoned me. Thanks uh dude! Anyways,today had another great laugh with Cheryl. Our laughter towards each other is contagious so we cant stop laughing no matter how lil funny it is.

Well,the joke of the day was Mdm Quek's drawing. Maybe its her own impersonation of her future daughter-in-law. LMAO. It had 3 pathetic strands of hair on each side! Had eyes like Aidil's(big!) and retarded ears. One ear was like a monkey's while the other ear was like sagging! LOL.

Till here. I'm pretty much laughing in front of the lappy now.One is Mdm Quek's drawing while the other is Ms Chee's 'shocked' look. Cant forget. ROLF!

morning sunshine

Good morning everybody! Well,the time now is 9:45AM! Some of you must be wondering what the hell I'm doing getting up so early on a Sunday morning. Well,I have menses! And there was a lot of blood gushing out from my ehem ehem. And it felt uncomfortable,so I bathed and changed to feel fresh lor! HAHA.

Well,yesterday studied till late. After I was about to sleep then I remembered I have homework to do. By then my brain was about to shut down. oh & my left eye has been twitching for the past few days. I'm not worried. Just irritated. Make it stop!

Oh & this morning I didnt go running. Simply because it feels uncomfortable running with a huge amout of blood gushing out and I have stomach cramps. It feels awful! Will start next week. Anybody wanna join? Beep me! It will be at Bedok Reservoir.

So,later in the afternoon,will be going to Pasir Ris with mom to attend my neigbour's wedding ceremony. Not sure what to wear. Somemore not in the mood to leave the house. I just wanna stay home and to my revisions and homework.

what a disappointment

Super tired!! Went shopping with mommy today and I spent about 75 bucks. Only bought two tops and two bottoms and 2 headscarfs. I'm actually a very choosy shopper,so I took sometime choosing some tops and changing also takes some time.

Tomorrow actually planned to go Bedok Resrvoir Park in the morning to run but my menstruation had arrived and I'm having these small cramps. And there's no one to go with me! Hopefully my cousin or deelah wanna go! Maybe I should just go by myself.

Some of you must be thinking why Bedok Reservoir Park of all places. Well,my problem la! Haha. jkjk. Well,I like the scenery and its a flat route. Besides,its only one bus trip from my house. Rather than the one in Simei that I used to run at,alot of slopes and angry DOGS! Cos its a housing estate. Haha. OH & my mood swings are taking over my emotions for now. So,beware!

And to the people that said I was kidding myself that I ran 3/4 of the route,Here's a message for you: I dont give a damn whether you want to believe or not. At the end of the day,its my own achievement. And please dont talk big. Its an achievement for me cos I have problem breathing when I run and I tend to give up. Thats my reason! I dont care whether you are my friend or a family member. You still deserve to be reading this message. Never underestimate someone. Cos you might never know,one day someone else gonna underestimate you. Only then you'll know how I feel you jackass! I repeat this again,I DONT NEED YOU TO BELIEVE WHAT I SAY,ITS MY OWN ACHIEVEMENT AND YOU DIDNT CONTRIBUTE TO MY ACHIEVEMENT,SO SHUT UP!

I'm actually disappointed with the people that actually said I was lying. Some of you did say that I have the determination and belief,its just a matter of time. And when I do achieve something,you people think I'm lying. Then whats the point of saying that I have those values. Hypocrite! Are you even my friend? The people that I thought should be out of my life are the ones that know my own strengths,whereas the ones that I thought I could rely on,are the ones that shut me out.

And I'm currently in love with Beyonce-Halo. Super nice! Who ever has the song,send me please! Thankies!

Road Race aches

Today had Road Race at Bedok Reservoir Park with the rest of the school.I'm shocked that the morning bus 5 wasnt jam packed with lysians. Well,went to 7-11 at eastpt with verena first then took the bus from there.

When we arrived,our class was people-less. Pretty much alot havent come. And only about half of the class came. When the race was about to start,I still couldnt decide whether to run or just walk with the rest. But when we started walking,me and deelah felt like running so we ran together. But in the end i asked her to go without me since I'm jogging slow like fuck. Lol.

So had my mp3 with me then just jog all the way. And I'm actually suprised that I jogged 3/4 of the way without stopping. I'm so proud of myself! *wide grin* Well,this being my last year in loyang,I wanna take part in every school event. At least I have some memories.

Then when reached the finishing line,I hugged deelah. I felt good for achieveing something that I never thought I would. Then had prize-giving and everything. Cheered and clapped for the sec 5 students except for Sarah. Haha. Then went back to teachers to take attendance and class photo. Then went to Eastpoint to eat with Verena,Navin,Kemp,both Nabeels,Sufi and Farid. Then it was home sweet home.

Took a bath quickly. It was the bestest feeling ever. Somemore cold water!! Then straight away went to sleep. HAHA. And AND AND AND I have a 'half-riped blister' at my heels area there. Maybe its because when I was running,there were tiny stones going into my shoe. It doesnt hurt much but the inside is all watery and I scared to wear shoes now. The blister is like the size of a 50-cent coin can!

And to Navin,go jogging with me soon. I'm serious about wad I said earlier okay! Ouh and when the race was all over,me and Nabeel Salim felt like running again. HAHA. Well,till here. I'm having aches all over now. And to guiling,I'm not pissed off with you. I know you're having some problems. I understand babe. Takecare ya'll!!

Side splitting day.

Today was the best day so far. I laughed like **** today. Be it in the parade square,class,recess time or drama. Especially in class. I couldnt stop laughing with Cheryl. You all should have been there. Super comical. Especially Ms Chee's face expressions! *laughs to ownself*

But I just hope that people would stop teasing me about SB. I'm over him for goodness sake. Shall let verena have him all to herself. Haha. Not much to talk about today. Although I'm still not happy with the new role that ive gotten for SYF. well..what to do.

Till here. Tired,sleepy and love-less.

kill me now!

Actaully I intended to bring muffins to school tmrw but since its all inside my bro's stomach now, cannot bring lor. So maybe bring egg bread. That is if my mom can make it for me. I clearly dont wanna make it myself. Have to wake up so early. And I'm sure you all know by now that my sleep is my number one priority. LOL.

So tmrw will be coming to school with a heartbreaking and devastated face. This entry doesnt sound like its sad or anything cos if it is,you all gonna die of boredom. Well,pretty much something happened. I know exactly who are the people that are gonna ask me,so you guys ask tmrw k? I might just cry too.

Today was actually okay. I missed the 6.40am bus so had to take number 9. And cikgu shahidah did not come today. URGH! Make me bring my heavy malay file for nothing! Somemore my bag is heavy today. Somemore got tmrw and thurs.

oh! & I think emergency exercise will be on thurs. Prolly around 9.30am. Hopefully it wont take that long! Especially since these few days have been rather warm! Till here. watching videos!

Today was honestly dull!

Today was normal. Someone opened his leg so wide that it made me so uncomfortable and it looked so wrong. Haha! Had SS test. It was the exact same question like the previous one. Damn irritated! And the presentation was finally done but it was not smooth. Heck care!

Then had eng test. It was quite easy. I loved reading the passages although I didnt really understood the second passage. But managed to answer it with full confidence. LOL. Then POA made me almost fell asleep. My eyes were droopy but manage to stay awake. Talk with akbar also! He never fails to put a smile on my face.

POA is tearing me apart! So many things to include in one account! And TAN QI JUN abandoned me today! He chose to sit with Ryan. GAY! haha. Nvm. next time its my turn to abandon him. Super sleepy now. Farhan still havent come yet. I shall sleep first. So in case he comes I dont hear him,good luck to him.

And I miss Jamie and Farid! Dudes,where have you been? Jamie ah,we live in the same block yet never see you for weeks already you know. What happen to you ah? You jump down already is it? LOL. And Farid ah,you also! Say want to meet me,until now never see your face. The next time better be for real. If not,....I shall not say it la hor!

Till here. And I might be bringing some cakes that I made to school tmrw. Super hungry la between 7am to 11am! LOL. At least if I eat abit,then recess time no need spend so much money just to fill my stomach! Bye!

life of a liar

I'm BACK!!Sorry for the late updates. Computer has been down for servicing and lappy has been sent for upgrades. So..no internet! Alot has been happening over the past few weeks. I'm still unhappy over something. The people that I want to be there are not. Only the shitty ones. Two mothafuckers are now really attitude people. I'm so against them this year.

Bought a zen mozaic mp4 player. But when I fully charged it,cannot be switched on. I'm freaking out now cos I dont have the receipt anymore. Just hope they would replace it or get it repaired quickly. Thank god I have a spare one. Or else I'll be music-less.

Someone also copied my History test just recently. I dont care whether she copied every single word but just looking at my answer is really wrong. She know how to talk big only! Somemore kaypoh about others problems. And! She said this to me twice when she broke-up with her bf(dont know whether she had one in the first place): "Got this guy wait for me one year already you know. But I still choose (insert so-called bf name)."

When she break up,she say she miss that bf but she ask me to look for a new one for her or recommend my friends. You think my friends go for a cheap girl like you ah? They're better off not having any gfs mind you. I didnt say that,actually one of my male friends did when I told him about her. LOL.

I anti her big time! She has no friends. I mean she keep on changing cliques! First she was with her classmates. Then she moved to another all-malay clique. Dont know how they can accept her also. Then she move to another clique. And she feel proud of it you know! And she hangs around us like she has known us forever like that. Even Wyelin asked why she with us when Wyelin's not around. Cos same recess time mah!

And sometimes,when we ask her where she going like after school,she'll say out with her outside friends. Eh,inside got no friends,outside got anyone want to make friends with you meh? She seem to be living a life of LIE! Somemore walk and skirt like want to look like some ahlian! Go and die la!

I think before I flew into a rage,I better stop. She so sickening! And I'm sure the people who knows who I'm talking about,agrees with me 110%!! Till here.

Jack Osbourne love

My new boyfriend! LMAO. Isnt he smoking hot?!!! Dont answer that question.

Moving on.. Today had friends over for some study-time and slack and gossips. Had alot of fun and super tired. My brain is tired of teaching Farhan maths-both linear inequalities and sets. He has been absent from school due to a freak accident. So he missed most of his maths lessons.

Then teach my cousin sec 4 biology and social studies. No idea why she dont understand whats inside the textbook. It pretty much explains everything. Then I revised sec 3 maths and sec 3 POA abit. My head is now full of numbers.

And to add to the tired-ness,tmr will be doing SS presentation video. URGH! till here. gotta run.

random.

You're ugly and I'm through with you. verena,you can take him now. Next!

LOL. just a random entry. Only a few people will know what I'm saying and who I'm referring to. Gotta run.

Typical boring entry

Took this pic during CD lesson. We got the 'post-it' paper. So when its sticky paper,its always stick it to people's back. Then took pictures like dont know what.

Today had Drama. Quite interesting. Not much to say. Updated and completed script has been given out. Its more than 20mins. WHICH IS NOT GOOD! Tired and sleepy.

TGIF tmr. Its not what you think it stands for. To me,it stands for 'THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY'.

And to Guigui,I dont know whether you'll be reading this,but just wanna tell you, TMR GO HOME WITH ME HOR! :)

ass-ass

SS project is getting on my nerves!! The class has been told to use this 'Inspiration' software for our mind-mapping. And guess what? Me and Cheryl have problem opening the software! I tried other softwares also cannot!

It has a broken link. If the link is broken,why put it up on the net?! It would be totally useless! And when I downloaded the 'Inspiration' software,I had to download a ton of other stuff. And when I finish dowloading everything,I followed the steps closely and still cannot open the fucking software!

What seems to be the problem?!!! What a pain sia! Why cant we just use powerpoint? Isnt it easy? Use such high-tech tools also dont learn much! Just make you even more confuse!! URGH!!!!

Make time go faster!

2 days sitting at home doing nothing! I watch tv,play comp,sleep and thats pretty much about it. I dont usually say this,but this time..I have to and I mean every word of it: I CANNOT WAIT TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!

Nope its not about SB. Haha. I dont know why but I guess I need something to make me busy. I didnt study for the past two days simply because I cant focus. Its not the environment,its just that I'm in no mood to do anything productive.

So yeah. Thats it. But what I hate about tmr is that there's english tutorial and I have to do SS project. Urgh!!! I dont think anyone likes to do projects. Thank god its gonna be over on Thurs.

So..See ya'll tmr! Loyang Sec,HERE I COME!! Lol. Random..